‘Kanade! Kanade!’

‘The heck ya want? I’m busy snarfing shabu-shabu over here.’

‘You know how you always want money?’

‘Yeah.’

‘Well, I was watching toy reviews on YouTube, and this ad came up for something called “Peko Coin”.’

‘Ugh. Do we really have to go through this again?’

‘Go through what?’

‘Remember what happened when you discovered Beetle Token?’

‘Okay, first of all, that was a token, not a coin. Second of all, it was a great idea until it wasn’t. Third, this is different.’

‘Different how?’

‘Here, just watch. You’ll understand after you see the ad.’

‘SICK OF SELLING AT THE DIP? WELL, LISTEN UP, DIPSHIT! PEKORA’S PUTTING UP DEEP VALUE WITH HER NEW CRYPTO! WE’RE TALKING ROI OUT THE WAZOO. DON’T EVEN BOTHER BUSTING OUT THAT CALCULATOR. THESE DIGIES AIN’T EVEN GOT A PLACE TO PUT THE DECIMAL. I BUILT A BASE ON THE MOON CUZ THIS COIN’S GOING INTERGALACTIC, BABY. BUY PEKO COIN. NOW. BEFORE IT’S TOO LATE.’

‘Well?’

‘Nene…’

‘Yes?’

‘You’re a goddamn genius.’

‘Right!?’

‘We gotta hurry though! Every passing second, we’re losing on GAINS.’

‘Okay. How much can you invest?’

‘Uh, hold on. Lemme check. Um. I have twenty-seven dollars in my savings.’

‘Nice!’

‘What about you?’

‘I have thirty-seven-million Beetle Tokens.’

‘Wow! How many Peko Coins is that worth?’

‘At the current exchange rate… about one.’

‘I mean, that’s something, at least.’

‘…six-hundredth.’

‘Huh?’

‘We can buy one six-hundredth of a Peko Coin.’

‘Really? Is that all? Did you include my twenty-seven dollars?’

‘Oh! I didn’t! Let’s see… With your contribution, we can buy seven-hundred-fifty-two Peko Coins plus one six-hundredth of a Peko Coin from my contribution.’

‘Heck yeah! Those sound like numbers to me!’

‘They sure do. Should we lock this in?’

‘Lock it!’

‘Click. Done.’

‘Nene, we’re gonna be rich!’

‘I know! What should we do with our new fortune?’

‘Well, I mean, this was your idea. I think you should get to decide.’

‘That’s true, but you put up the most capital. I think your say is at least as important as mine.’

‘Hmm. You know what I think?’

‘What?’

‘I think we should think about it a bit more.’

‘Good thinking.’

‘Hey! Check and see how much we’ve made.’

‘Oh, uh, we’ve made… Negative twenty-seven dollars.’

‘Uh, okay. And the Beetle Tokens?’

‘Gone.’

‘…’

‘Wait, no! I lied! We have at least sixteen figures here, Kanade! I’ve never seen so many zeroes in my life.’

‘Are the zeroes to the right or the left of the decimal?’

‘The right.’

‘And what is on the left?’

‘A zero.’

‘…’

‘Is that good?’

‘No, Nene, that is not good.’

‘Dang. I was hoping you wouldn’t say that.’

‘Nene?’

‘Yes?’

‘Do you know how much shabu-shabu I could’ve bought with that twenty-seven dollars?’

‘Well, how do you think I feel? I’m out MILLIONS!’

‘BEETLE TOKEN ISN’T REAL!’

‘IT IS IF I BELIEVE IT IS!’

‘I’m NEVER listening to you AGAIN!’

…

…

…

…

‘Kanade?’

‘What?’

‘I was watching Gintama re-runs and I saw an ad for something called Bingus Token. I thought this might be a good chance to—’

‘GET OUT!’