(set: $v_nest to false, $v_scorch to false, $v_claw to false, $v_fur to false, $v_scorchchim to false, $v_skinchim to false, $v_cow to false, $v_scorchhyd to false, $v_skin to false)\
You’re waking up to ash and dust. You wipe your brow and notice some strange marks on your forearm.
Something has bitten you. Something with big, sharp teeth. The wound is fresh, grisly, and strangely painless.
Even so, you should probably get that looked at.
[[Next|Where are you]]You are sprawled in the middle of a dirt road that runs through a dark wood. The trees that arch over your head block out all but the most determined of sunbeams. You are utterly and totally alone.
Or so you think.
A bush shivers, a crow caw-caws and flies off. You hear grunting and groaning. There is something out there in the woods.
And it’s coming right for you.
[[Arm yourself|Arm yourself]]
Here it comes! A skulking shadow, clinking and clattering through the underbrush, bent on deeds of pure evil, no doubt. You wind up, ready to knock its block off.
‘Ugh, my head.’ A knight stumbles out of the woods, holding a gauntleted hand to her temple. She looks up at you and squints. ‘You too, huh?’
You lower the branch. Seems she too is a casualty of whatever happened here. Nonetheless, you demand she identify herself before she comes any closer.
'The damsels call me Sir G, the bards call me G-Pain, but you can call me Gigi. I am a knight-errant, as I'm sure you can tell.' She beams at you, showing off a pair of pearly fangs. 'And who might you be?'
(link: "You are a fighter")[\
(set: $class to "Fighter")\
(go-to: "fighter backstory")\
]
(link: "You are a wizard")[\
(set: $class to "Wizard")\
(go-to: "wizard backstory")\
]You're no conjuror of cheap tricks. You've got stars on your robe and a staff with a crystal bauble stuck to one end. That means you're a //real// wizard. And if someone casts doubt on your abilities, you're not afraid to cast Power Word: Scrunch on their ass.
You are a wizard.
[[Next|You've been bitten]]You've got cauliflower ears, but you're no greengrocer. To you, a 'haymaker' is a way to solve problems, not another name for a farmer. And that thing on your face? That's your nose, or what's left of it.
You are a fighter.
[[Next|You've been bitten]]'Well met!' Gigi studies the bite on your forearm and winces. 'Yeowch. That must've hurt. Any idea what did that?'
[[A large rodent|rodent]]\
[[Something with teeth|teeth]]\
[[Gigi|gigi bit you]]
You scramble to your feet. There is a sizable piece of deadfall sticking up out of the ditch. You grab it--a knotty branch, broken from the trunk of an elm under last winter's snow.
You perform a few practice swings. Whatever comes out of those woods is getting a good thwacking.
[[Next|Gigi arrives]]Definitely a rodent of some kind. One of unusual size. An R.O.U.S., if you will.
Gigi seems taken aback. 'An R.O.U.S, you say? My word, I thought those were a myth. Tell me, did you see such a creature with your own eyes?'
No, you didn't see what bit you.
'Well, it may well have been an R.O.U.S., but more likely it was something more reasonable, like a bugbear or a New Jersey Devil.' Gigi holds up a finger and in a nasal, didactic tone says, 'Inference to the best possible explanation is every responsible investigator's modus operandi.'
Yeah, whatever.
'Allow me to relay what I saw, and perhaps then we shall see more of the full picture.'
[[Next|what gigi saw]]Something with teeth. Pointy ones.
'Ah! An astute observation. From this, we can rule out the elderly, horses, birds, and insects of all kinds.' Gigi rubs her chin with a gauntleted hand. 'That just leaves pretty much every conceivable creature in the Bestiary of Man-eating Monsters. My money is on a bugbear being that which bit you, for what it's worth.' Gigi leans in and studies your wound and nods as if confirming her suspicion. 'At any rate, allow me to tell you what my version of events.'
[[Next|what gigi saw]]As if she doesn't know.
Gigi blinks at you. 'I don't follow.'
But you do bite, don't you?
Gigi stamps her foot, making her steel sabaton crash like a cymbal against the ground. 'What! I most certainly do not!'
Then what's up with those pointy teeth?
'Why, they're one of my many charm points. Besides, I never bit anyone who didn't ask for it.' Gigi sighs. 'If we're to figure out what happened here, we must work together.' She turns and surveys the scorched wreckage on the road. 'Allow me to tell you what I saw.'
[[Next|what gigi saw]]'There I was, polishing my lance, ready to tilt at windmills, granaries, what have you, when I heard an otherworldly shriek. A vast shadow--it must've been a furlong in width, no jest--swept over me. I thought perhaps a cloud had passed before the sun. I turned my eyes upward, but alas, my visor chose that moment to fall and obscure my vision. I tore my helmet off, hoping to glimpse what manner of mystery could cast such a shadow. The sky, however, was as clear and blue as could be. Maybe I was weary from my travels and had simply imagined the whole thing. But then I smelled the smoke! Not stopping to pick up my helmet--big mistake, for the record--I hoofed it through the woods until I could hear the flames crackling. That's when the unthinkable happened. I stepped in a rabbit burrow and went head over teakettle and knocked myself out on a milestone. When I awoke... Well, you know the rest.'
As far as knight tales go, that was about as middling as they come. But then again, it's not over, is it? That was just the prologue.
[[Next|go to Gremville]]
Gigi knows a place, a magical place, called Gremville. You've asked her to describe the folk who call it home, but she only replies that description would do neither the village nor the folk justice. Such wonders must be seen to be believed.
You brace yourself for the worst.
[[Next|Gremville]]'Welcome...' says Gigi, scampering ahead, turning and throwing her arms out wide, '...to Gremville!'
Other than the one-eyed, big-tailed creatures crawling around performing inscrutable deeds and bizarre antics, it looks like any other out-of-the-way village. There is a tannery sullying the wind with a horrific stench. There is a smithy glowing with red coals and ringing with the clang-clang-clang of hammer on anvil. There is even a bakery manned by a shameless, little orange creature clad in an apron and nothing else.
'What we're looking for is the barber,' says Gigi.
Does someone need a shave?
'No, silly.' Gigi nods at the bite on your arm. 'That needs bloodletting.'
[[Go to the barber|barber]]'Fret not. This little fella knows what it's doing.' Gigi gives you a thumbs up. 'You won't feel a thing on account of the blood loss and nerve damage.'
You're in the barber's hovel, sitting in an aged, upholstered chair. There is a washbasin on a stand next to your right forearm. The barber is one of those weird one-eyed creatures Gigi affectionately calls 'Grems'. It doesn't appear to be capable of speech. You have no way of knowing if it really knows what it's doing with that scalpel.
'Ah, I remember my first bloodletting,' says Gigi, sighing with the nostalgia of it all. 'Nearly died.'
That's it. You're done.
You leap out of the barber's chair and kick open the door just in time to see the sun blotted out by a massive dark cloud.
Except it's not a cloud. You don't know what it is, but it breathes fire, flies, and has sent Gremville into a state of pandemonium.
There's only one thing to do.
[[Run for cover!|run]]
'The Grem orphanage is on fire!' cries Gigi.
You crawl out from under a cabbage cart and stand tall like you didn't just about soil your pantaloons.
'Oh, there you are. Quick! We must help those poor orphans! But the flames! Egads! It's enough to singe your nose hairs at a dozen paces!'
She's right. Fire is hot. Even so, the Grem orphans need your help.
{(if: $class is "Wizard")[[[Cast Make Water!|cast water]]<br>]}\
[[Rush into the burning orphanage|rush]]Cast Water might be a cantrip, but there's no flame it can't douse. Jets of tepid water shoot from both your palms, showering the roof of the orphanage, steam comingling with the smoke to coat your lungs in ashy vapour.
'You're doing it! You're doing it!'
Gigi is running around, clanking in her armor and catching the Grem orphans as they hop out the window to safety.
When the fire is beaten down to a few wet embers, you wipe your palms on your robe and wipe the sweat off your forehead with the back of your sleeve.
'That's the last of them,' says Gigi after taking a headcount. 'You did it! You saved all the orphans.'
[[Next|the grem is saved]]Who knew the inside of a burning building could be so smoky? You tuck your chin into the neck-hole of your shirt and dance around the swirling embers that bite like horseflies. You dodge falling timber and tumble through twirling flames. When you emerge from the orphanage, you have a bushel of juvenile Grems dangling by their tails from each fist, looking like a ratcatcher after a particularly good haul.
You toss them clear of the heat, and they scurry away and cling to Gigi's shins.
'That's the last of them,' says Gigi after taking a headcount. 'You did it! You saved all the orphans.'
[[Next|the grem is saved]]With the fire quenched and the orphans saved, it's time to rest on your laurels. Everyone thinks you're a hero. And, heck, maybe you are.
'That was amazing!' says Gigi, a ring of Grems mimicking her every movement like back-up dancers. 'I've seen feats of courage before, but "brave" barely describes what you've just done. Had I the right, I would knight you on the spot. Perhaps one day I can get you before a monarch and have them do the honors. Then we could be knight buddies! Wouldn't that be swell?'
That would. What would be even more swell would be finding out what torched the village.
'I believe I can answer that.'
You turn. An aged Japanese man with a fake white beard pasted poorly to his face hobbles up to you.
Gigi gasps. 'Wizard Ojisan!'
[[Next|enter Ojisan]]
Wizard Ojisan and Gigi go way back, but now's not the time to dive into past glories. You've got a present situation on your hands, namely that Gremville has suffered quite a bit of fire damage.
'This is the work of the foul Jubjub bird,' says Wizard Ojisan, surveying the smoking ruin of the orphanage. 'A beast as reviled as it is feathered. It lives to sow misery. It has evolved to breathe fire simply to be total jerk.'
'I'm sensing a quest!' says Gigi, doing a little dance that makes her armor jingle. 'I mean, I would've liked it if a dragon and a princess were involved, but I'll take a fire-breathing asshole bird.'
'Ah, "Jubjub" bird,' says Wizard Ojisan, waving an admonishing finger.
This Wizard Ojisan fella seems pretty knowledgeable. Perhaps you should show him your bite.
[[Show your bite|show bite]]'You have until sunfall to live.'
You look at your arm, at Gigi, then back at Wizard Ojisan. Come again?
'I've seen such a wound before,' says Wizard Ojisan. 'Eleven times, as a matter of fact. You have been bitten by the Jubjub. Its venom is coursing through your veins, holding your major organs hostage. When the sun goes down, the venom will take effect, and you will lose your life.'
'That can't be!' says Gigi. She takes one look at the wizard and realizes that not only //can// it be, it //do// be. 'Surely there must be a cure.'
Wizard Ojisan shakes his head. 'None have survived the bite of the Jubjub.'
'I think what you mean is that none have survived //so far//.' Gigi lifts her chin. She is the picture of the indomitable human spirit. She looks at you and says, 'You are about to make history, my friend.'
[[Next|the cure]]'I have heard that in distant lands, where venomous serpents are as common as grasshoppers, the people there have developed a tincture to reverse the effects of these serpents' bites. An "anti-vemon", if you will.' Wizard Ojisan meets your eye. 'You must acquire a venom sample from the Jubjub bird. Bring it to me, and we shall see what can be done.'
It's a long shot, but it's your only hope.
Gigi kneels down on one knee and lowers her head. 'Wizard Ojisan, I beg of thee, grant us a boon or two that'll see us come through this perilous adventure successful and unscathed.'
'Oh, uh, erm...' Wizard Ojisan pats the pockets of his robe and slips a hand inside his collar and starts fishing around. He pulls out a bag of marshmallows and a large sponge. 'All I got, sorry.'
'We'll take it!' Gigi springs to her feet and accepts the gifts with reverence. 'I've done more with less, trust me.' She stuffs the marshmallows and sponge down her cuirass. 'Time to slay some Jubjub.'
[[Next|the hunt begins]]You are walking through the woods with Gigi at your side. Gremville is behind you, still smoldering. Monsters, including the one you seek, are no doubt lurking amid this unmapped wilderness. You better make sure you're on the right track.
Gigi nods. 'A wise decision. Let us take stock of what we know of this creature. Knowledge is power and something tells me we're going to need all the power we can get.'
You know the Jubjub can fly.
'Right. So it's unlikely to leave tracks. But then again, just because it has wings, doesn't mean it doesn't have feet. Take birds, for example.'
That's true. And just because it has wings doesn't mean it has feathers either.
Gigi furrows her brow. 'Hm. That's a bit far-fetched, but true in a sort of tautological sense, I suppose.'
Okay, you have learned that Gigi doesn't know about bats. That's not going to help you, but it is something to tease her about later.
'On a more helpful note, we know the Jubjub breathes fire and has a venomous bite.' Gigi chuckles suddenly. 'I mean, how many monsters are there that fly, breathe fire, and are venomous? I don't think we'll have any problems finding the right creature.'
[[Next|into the woods again]]
(set: $v_nest to false, $v_scorch to false, $v_claw to false, $v_fur to false, $v_scorchchim to false, $v_skinchim to false, $v_cow to false, $v_scorchhyd to false, $v_skin to false)\
(set: $deadcow to true)\
(set: $hydrascorch to true)\
(set: $hydraskin to true)\
(set: $skinchimera to true)\
(set: $lionfur to true)\
(set: $chimerascorch to true)\
(set: $jjegg to true)\
(set: $jjscorch to true)\
(set: $jjclaw to true)\
(set: $decision = 0)\
(set: $jubjub = 0)\
(set: $chimera =0)\
(set: $hydra = 0)You and Gigi have come to a crossroads. There are three branching paths, each trodden by some as yet unidentified beast.
'Well, this just got a lot more interesting,' says Gigi.
The left path is pocked by prints left by a creature that seemingly has hooves //and// claws. You also notice some snake skin dangling from a branch.
The middle path sports a set of tracks that belong to what might be a monstrous feline. You also notice a stray feather stuck in a bush--a flight pinion, longer than your leg.
The right path features no tracks. Instead, there is a deep furrow, as if something slithered down the trail. As on the left path, there are patches of shed snake skin dangling in the underbrush.
Which path will you choose?
{(if: $decision >=3)[[[Follow the middle path|tracks one]]<br>]
(if: $decision >=3)[[[Follow the right path|tracks two]]<br>]
(if: $decision >=3)[[[Follow the left path|tracks three]]<br>]}\
{(if: $jubjub <3)[[[Follow the middle path|tracks one]]<br>]
(if: $chimera <3)[[[Follow the right path|tracks two]]<br>]
(if: $hydra <3)[[[Follow the left path|tracks three]]<br>]}
You follow the middle path, collecting sabre-sized feathers along the way. Here and there, massive paw prints dent the earth like a giant cat has been playing leapfrog.
'Whatever went this way can fly,' says Gigi. 'That's a good sign we're on the right track, I'd say.'
The path culminates in a clearing. At the center of the clearing is a massive ground-nest. The earth has been torn up by something with long claws, and pits of charred vegetation dot the ground like the remnants of a thousand cookfires.
'There's a lot to take in,' says Gigi. 'Where should we start?'
{
(set: $jubjub to it)
(if: $jubjub >=3)[[[This is the Jubjub|jubjub]]<br>]
(if: $jubjub >=3)[[[This is not the Jubjub|notjubjub]]<br>]
(if: $jjegg is true and $v_nest is false)[[[Investigate nest|nest]]<br>]
(if: $jjscorch is true and $v_scorch is false)[[[Investigate scorch marks|jjscorch]]<br>]
(if: $jjclaw is true and $v_claw is false)[[[Investigate claw marks|claws]]<br>]
}
You follow the path scored by hooves and claws. It takes you to a cave in a cliff face that is deep, dark, and smells of carrion.
'You think the Jubjub is a cave-dweller?' whispers Gigi. 'I wouldn't think a beast with wings would live underground.'
Gigi's life is really impoverished by her lack of knowing that bats exist.
For now, you have your hands full with finding clues. After scoping out the scene, you find a patch of fur, some scorch marks, and some shed snake skin.
{
(set: $chimera to it)
(if: $chimera >=3)[ [[This is a chimera|chimera]]<br>]
(if: $chimera >=3)[ [[This is the Jubjub|jubjubchimera]] <br> ]
(if: $lionfur is true and $v_fur is false)[ [[Investigate fur|lion fur]] <br> ]
(if: $chimerascorch is true and $v_scorchchim is false)[ [[Investigate scorch marks|scorchchimera]]<br> ]
(if: $skinchimera is true and $v_skinchim is false)[ [[Investigate shed skin|snakeskinchimera]] <br> ]
}
You follow the furrow and it leads to a swamp. It smells of peat moss and rotting flesh. You hear a nasty sucking sound behind you.
Gigi is pulling her leg from the marsh. 'Note to self: don't wear heavy armor in a swamp.' She wades through the muck to join you on a patch of hard-packed earth. 'This is not how I saw this adventure going.'
You look around and three things catch your attention: A dead cow, some scorch marks, and some shed snake skin.
{
(set: $hydra to it)
(if: $hydra >=3)[ [[This is a hydra|hydra]]<br> ]
(if: $hydra >=3)[ [[This is the Jubjub|jubjubhydra]]<br> ]
(if: $deadcow is true and $v_cow is false)[ [[Investigate dead cow|deadcow]]<br> ]
(if: $hydrascorch is true and $v_scorchhyd is false)[ [[Investigate scorch marks|scorchhydra]]<br> ]
(if: $hydraskin is true and $v_skin is false)[ [[Investigate shed skin|skin]]<br> ]
}
Yep. That's a dead cow. There is no obvious sign of trauma except for a superficial bite wound. Something with long fangs sunk its teeth into the bovine's shoulder.
Gigi shakes her head. 'So, we thinking venom killed this poor creature?'
Maybe. Could also have been dropped from the sky.
'Natural causes is also an option,' says Gigi.
You don't have to heart to break it to Gigi. There is nothing natural about a cow in a swamp.
'Let's see what else we can find,' says Gigi, moving off.
(set: $deadcow to false, $v_cow to true)\
(set:$hydra to it +1)[[Go back|tracks three]]You find some reeds that have been badly scorched.
Gigi takes a finger and runs it along the foliage, then pops her finger in her mouth. 'As I thought, my finger tastes bad.' She stands up. 'Also, fire didn't scorch these plants. Acid did.'
You make a mental note of that factoid and move on.
(set: $hydrascorch to false, $v_scorchhyd to true)\
(set:$hydra to it +1)[[Go back|tracks three]]
You find a tapestry of shed snake skin. The diamond-shaped scales are the size of your palm.
'I don't know about you, but I was expecting to find feathers,' says Gigi. 'Serpents can't fly as far as I know.'
Well, there's not much either of you know about the Jubjub. Maybe it //is// a flying serpent.
(set: $hydraskin to false, $v_skin to true)\
(set:$hydra to it +1)[[Go back|tracks three]]'I think we've seen all the clues,' says Gigi. 'Come to a conclusion?'
The fang-marked cow, the acid-burned reeds, the snakeskin, all signs point to this being the swampy lair of a hydra.
'I couldn't agree more,' says Gigi. 'Let's get out of here before we find out how many heads this one has.'
(set: $decision to it +1)[[Back to the crossroads|into the woods again]]'You think this is the lair of the Jubjub?' asks Gigi. She makes no attempt to conceal her doubt. 'I was thinking more along the lines of a multi-headed serpent, but hey, what do I know? I'm just the muscle and the looks.'
The Jubjub is venomous. That cow obviously died because something gnarly bit it.
'Okay, but what about the acid and the snake skin?'
There's no reason why the Jubjub can't breathe acid //and// fire. And flying serpents aren't that unusual, especially in the Southern Hemisphere.
'But we're in the Northern Hemisphere.'
Maybe it's a migratory flying serpent.
'Yeah, okay. And maybe when you cut off one of its heads, two more grow in its place.'
Like a hydra?
Gigi draws her sword. 'Like that thing slithering up behind you.'
You spin around just in time to find out what the inside of a giant snake looks like.
[[Restart at nearest Checkpoint|dream]]
You find a patch of shed snake skin. Judging from the size of the scales, it wasn't a garter snake that left this behind.
Gigi picks up a shred of the shed skin and lets it flutter to the ground. 'Python, maybe?'
(set: $skinchimera to false, $v_skinchim to true)\
(set:$chimera to it +1)[[Go back|tracks two]]You spy a thatch of thick, brown fur snagged in a nearby mulberry bush.
Gigi stands beside you and studies the fur. 'This is going to sound crazy, but I went to a circus once. They had a lion tamer and a pride of lions. One of them had a mane of hair just like that.'
Is she suggesting this beast eats lions or that it has a mane just like a lion?
Gigi shrugs. 'I dunno.'
(set: $lionfur to false, $v_fur to true)\
(set:$chimera to it +1)[[Go back|tracks two]]The ground around the cave mouth has been blasted by an intense jet of flame. Black scorch marks score the earth like permanent shadows.
'We got a fire-breather here,' says Gigi. 'That's a good indicator that we're on the right track.'
The Jubjub does breathe fire, but so do other monstrous beasts. You better look for more evidence.
(set: $chimerascorch to false, $v_scorchchim to true)\
(set:$chimera to it +1)[[Go back|tracks two]]'Hoof prints? Lion fur? Snake skin?' Gigi shakes her head at the inscrutability of it all. 'I think we've stumbled on someone's menagerie. Or petting zoo.'
You have an alternative hypothesis: this is the den of a chimera.
Gigi blinks at you. Then she slaps her forehead with the leather palm of her gauntlet. 'A chimera! Of course! Part lion, goat, and snake. And it breathes fire. Phew. Good thing one of us is smart.'
This is not the lair of the Jubjub, that's the important thing. Time to head back and pick a different path.
(set: $decision to it +1)[[Investigate further|into the woods again]]'So... you're saying...' Gigi scratches her head. 'What are you saying?'
You're not saying anything. It's the evidence that's talking. And this is its message: the Jubjub keeps pets. That's the only reasonable conclusion one can make in this situation.
Gigi winces. The doubt she feels must be physically painful. 'Is it, though?'
The alternative is to conclude that a lion, goat, and snake are cohabitating here of their own free will. And that would just be absurd.
'Tell that to the creature behind you,' says Gigi, drawing her sword.
You turn around. The last thoughts that pass through your head are 'Wow, a chimera!' and 'AAAHHHHHH! IT BURNS!'.
[[Restart at nearest Checkpoint|dream]]On a mound, in the center of the clearing, is a ground-nest. A horse could curl up here with plenty of room to spare. The nest is composed of deadfall and dry reeds, but you do see the sickly ochre of bones poking out in places.
'Looks like this creature eats where it sleeps,' says Gigi. 'I heard you're not supposed to do that.'
(set: $jjegg to false, $v_nest to true)\
(set:$jubjub to it +1)[[Go back|tracks one]]You and Gigi hover from pit to pit. You observe that some of these fires are recent and some are much older.
'This one still has live coals,' says Gigi. She picks up a warm piece of charcoal, juggles it for a bit, then drops it.
(set: $jjscorch to false, $v_scorch to true)\
(set:$jubjub to it +1)[[Go back|tracks one]]The topsoil has been raked by the passage of clawed feet. The furrows are thin and deep.
These were definitely left by claws that catch.
'I got a bad feeling we're going to end up as playthings,' says Gigi.
(set: $jjclaw to false, $v_claw to true)\
(set:$jubjub to it +1)[[Go back|tracks one]]'I think we got our creature,' says Gigi. 'Flies, breathes fire. We just need to confirm whether it's venomous or not.' She raises a hand to her brow and peers around. 'See if you can find something it's chewed on.'
[[Look for something it's bitten|chewtoy]]
You and Gigi have come to a crossroads. There are three branching paths, each trodden by some as yet unidentified beast.
'Well, this just got a lot more interesting,' says Gigi.
The left path is pocked by prints left by a creature that seemingly has hooves //and// claws. You also notice some snake skin dangling from a branch.
The middle path sports a set of tracks that belong to what might be a monstrous feline. At any rate, whatever made those tracks has a mean set of claws. You also notice a stray feather stuck in a bush--a flight pinion, longer than your leg.
The right path features no tracks. Instead, there is a deep furrow, as if something slithered down the trail. As on the left path, there are patches of shed snake skin dangling in the underbrush.
Which path will you choose?
[[The hunt begins|into the woods again]]\
(set: $v_nest to false, $v_scorch to false, $v_claw to false, $v_fur to false, $v_scorchchim to false, $v_skinchim to false, $v_cow to false, $v_scorchhyd to false, $v_skin to false)\
(set: $deadcow to true)\
(set: $hydrascorch to true)\
(set: $hydraskin to true)\
(set: $skinchimera to true)\
(set: $lionfur to true)\
(set: $chimerascorch to true)\
(set: $jjegg to true)\
(set: $jjscorch to true)\
(set: $jjclaw to true)\
(set: $decision = 0)\
(set: $jubjub = 0)\
(set: $chimera =0)\
(set: $hydra = 0)Gigi is facing you, aghast. She holds up three fingers to represent the three points she's about to make. 'Feathers, flies, breathes fire. Hello? These are the telltale signs of the Jubjub. I'm //telling// you!'
You're not so sure, and you're not prepared to make a decision before exhausting all possible alternatives.
'Ugh!' Gigi tilts her head back and lets her arms dangle. 'Fine.'
(set: $decision to it +1)[[Investigate further|into the woods again]]Under the threat of the beast's return, you scour the lair like your life depends on it. However, despite leaving no stone unturned, you find no object with obvious bite marks.
'Guess we're going to have to do this the hard way,' says Gigi. She shakes out her arms and squares her shoulders. 'I volunteer that you shall be bait. If things get ugly...' Gigi grips the hilt of her sword. 'Well, I can get even uglier.'
[[Next|bait]]'You gotta figure out a way to attract the Jubjub,' says Gigi, hiding in a bush, perfectly camouflaged except for her gleaming silver armor and glittering pink eyes. 'Be creative, be careful, and most importantly, don't forget your whimsy.' She extends a fist out from the bush. You bump it with your own.
'Now,' says Gigi, 'do you want the sponge or the bag of marshmallows?
(link: "Sponges haven't failed you yet")[\
(set: $solution to "sponge")\
(go-to: "sponge solution")\
]
(link: "Marshmallows are the solution to everything")[\
(set: $solution to "marshmallows")\
(go-to: "marshmallow solution")\
]
When offered a sponge, you know better than to turn it down. This is quite the mess you've gotten yourself into, and only a sponge can soak up so much folly.
You strut around and crow like a rooster. Everybody hates roosters, especially other birds. If the Jubjub really is a bird, it'll come flying your way in no time.
Wait. What's that sound?
Whoomp, whoomp, whoomp. If you didn't know better, you'd say that was the sound of someone beating the dust out of a rug with a cudgel. But it's not. It's the beating of wings. The Jubjub, massive, smoke curling from gun-bore nostrils, claws like scythe heads, comes crashing down, eyes flashing with lethal menace. Besides the feathered wings, it doesn't look like any bird you've ever seen.
Scary, sure. But, for all its weapons, you have two things on your side: a sponge, and whimsy.
It's time to end this.
(if: $class is "Wizard")[[Cast Mage Hand!|wizard sponge solution]]\
(if: $class is "Fighter")[[RAGE!|fighter sponge solution]]The marshmallow sits on the palm of your hand. What power does it contain? You assume it must have some magical properties because, surely, Gigi would not have handed you a non-magical marshmallow. Or would she?
Maybe you should've taken the sponge.
You strut around and crow like a rooster. Everybody hates roosters, especially other birds. If the Jubjub really is a bird, it'll come flying your way in no time.
Wait. What's that sound?
Whoomp, whoomp, whoomp. If you didn't know better, you'd say that was the sound of someone beating the dust out of a rug with a cudgel. But it's not. It's the beating of wings. The Jubjub, massive, smoke curling from gun-bore nostrils, claws like scythe heads, comes crashing down, eyes flashing with lethal menace. Besides the feathered wings, it doesn't look like any bird you've ever seen.
it can bare its fangs all it wants. You've got a soul full of whimsy and a marshmallow in your hand. Lesser folk have done less with more.
Time to end this.
(if: $class is "Fighter")[[Eat the marshmallow!|fighter marshmallow solution]]\
(if: $class is "Wizard")[[Cast Fireball!|wizard marshmallow solution]]A spectral hand coalesces from thin air. Despite having no eyes or any distinguishing facial features, it looks at you expectantly. You hand it the sponge, step back, and nod.
The hand nods back. It knows what it must do.
Under your feet, the earth is heaving. The Jubjub is bounding your way, a rabid mass of outraged terror, spraying venom and fire. You stand your ground. Trust in the Mage Hand and the sponge.
The beast opens its jaws and you see row upon row of serrated teeth circling the undulating purple of its throat.
'Now!' you shout.
The Mage Hand dives into the maw, straight down the gullet, sponge and all. You cast Make Water for good measure, making sure the sponge is good and engorged.
Like a shark with a pufferfish in its esophagus, the Jubjub appears to be in some distress. You give it a minute or two before lack of air does its work.
The beast, in its death throes, spits a gob of venomous goop and catches you in the left eye. You go down, half blind, screaming.
[[Next|gigi marshmallow]]Thinking is for wizards and morons. The only way to get anything done in this world is to do it. And you're gonna do it, alright. What exactly you don't know, but it's gonna be metal, whatever it is.
Your fist closes around the sponge. Sweat from your palm oozes from the pores. You wait until you can see the pulsating purple of the Jubjub's uvula before you send your fist and the sponge down its throat, shoving your arm up to your shoulder down its gullet.
Its serrated teeth gouge your arm as you yank it back, and your blood engorges the sponge until it blocks the beast's windpipe and it begins to suffocate.
As far as deeds go, that was pretty metal. One problem, however: you got some Jubjub saliva in your eye and it burns like all hell.
[[Next|gigi marshmallow]]You whisper to the marshmallow in the Old Speech. When it doesn't respond, you realize it's just an ordinary marshmallow.
The Jubjub is rushing on, and you stand there blinking like a mole in the sunlight. What spell could possibly save you now? Wish, maybe. But you don't have the reagents for that. And, besides, you're only a fourth-level spellcaster. The best you can do is Fireball.
Wait a second.
You center your gaze on the marshmallow, mutter the magic words, and make a few gestures with your other hand. Then you chuck it.
Like a meteor breaking up on entry, the marshmallow bursts into flames. It grows and grows until becomes a ball of molten, gooey destruction.
The Jubjub digs its claws into the earth and goes into a skid, tearing up the sod as it struggles to stop. Then there is a loud explosion, a shockwave that makes your bowels contract, and a smoking crater where the beast once was.
It begins raining chunks of marshmallow and mystery meat. You look up, foolishly, and a hollow-pointed fang falls in your eye.
[[Next|Gigi sponge]]You gobble down the marshmallow and let out a barbaric yowl. You wait for the power of the "magic" marshmallow to course through your veins. Instead, you get instant indigestion and a feeling of immense regret.
But then you get angry. Really, really angry.
The Jubjub, of course, doesn't care how angry you are. It's about to do to you what you just did to that marshmallow. And that makes you even angrier.
The beast's bottom jaw scrapes along the ground, scooping up sod and rock like the blade of a plow. Your body impacts the purple. squishy flesh of the Jubjub's palate before you go cannon-balling down its throat. You land in the beast's stomach. There is no light. There is the sizzle of acid chewing away at your skin and clothes. There is the sick, ripping sound as you gut the beast from the inside with your blade.
You tumble from the jagged incision and roll clear of the kicking and screeching beast. As it thrashes out its lifeblood, it spits in your eye before dying.
[[Next|Gigi sponge]]'Chew, chew. Good. Now swallow.'
You know that voice. You'd do anything it told you to. So you swallow, and the marshmallow goes down and sits in your stomach like a ball of cobwebs. Your eye is still burning agony.
'Well, that didn't work,' says Gigi. 'Okay, okay. I can save you. I can save you. Um, can you walk?'
You groan and curl up like a pill bug.
'Oh, jeez. I... I need an adult!'
You hear ring mail jangling, and Gigi screaming, 'Ojisan! Ojisan!'
Then you black out.
[[Next|no time to celebrate]]'It's okay! It's okay! I have the sponge!'
There are blotches of jagged purple exploding in the vitreous humor of your left eye, and an agonizing weight threatening to cave in your socket.
You scream and curl up like a pill bug.
'Oh, jeez. I... I need an adult!'
You hear plate and ring mail jangling, and Gigi screaming, 'Ojisan! Ojisan!'
Then you black out.
[[Next|no time to celebrate]]You float, drift, and plummet through a phantasmagoria of venom-induced visions. Your face is aching horribly, a pockmark of pure pain pools in your left eye socket.
You wake up with a jerk. The room you are in is dim. The feather bed under you reeks of antiseptic tinctures and the air is thick with the mulchy smell of healing herbs. Your face tingles but the pain is not as severe as in your dreams.
Your body feels... different.
'You're finally awake.'
A figure sitting on a stool in the corner of the room stirs. Wizard Ojisan takes off his pointy hat and holds it by the brim. His face is clouded.
'The Jubjub is dead.' Wizard Ojisan drops his gaze. 'But its venom remained in your veins. Your blood would've killed you had we not done something.'
You flick your tail. Wait. Why do you have a tail?
'Every Grem in the village put in a pint for you.' The wizard rubs the back of his head. 'There are, of course, side-effects to a total blood transfusion. In this case, total metamorphosis. But it beats being dead, I hope.'
Now that your eye has adjusted to the light, you look at your hands. Your skin is orange, your arms are stubby.
You ask what's become of Gigi.
The wizard looks at you with surprise. He gestures to the foot of your bed with his staff. Gigi is curled up there like a cat, sleeping. She's still wearing her suit of armor.
You smirk, lay your head back, and close your eye.
[[Next|become grem]]
The grass-covered hill catches the sun and gleams like the rind of a watermelon. Down in the village, the funny little orange critters are going about their day. Life has never been better in Gremville since the Jubjub was slain.
You see things differently now. And it's not just because you only have one eye. It's because you fit in. You belong. You have a home.
You've become a Grem yourself, and it's the best thing that's ever happened to you.
'There you are!' Gigi, out of breath, comes hurtling up the hill. 'A travelling troupe of ministrels just rode into the village and they have a talking automaton with them! C'mon! You gotta see this freak. She's green. //Green//!'
She doesn't have to tell you twice.
[[Credits]]
(link: "<img src='gigijubjubcoverreal.png'>")[
(goto: "Waking up")
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‘Gigi and the Jubjub’ is an unofficial, fanmade, text-based adventure written in accordance with COVER’s guidelines for derivative works.
Thank you for reading!
[[Go back to the beginning->Waking up]]