Somewhere, a half-elf and a young woman with pinkish-blonde hair are playing UNO.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u2018You\u2019ll never guess what I\u2019m holding, Wamy. I\u2019ll give you a hint: it\u2019s seventeen draw-four cards.\u2019<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u2018You\u2019re only holding one card. I can see it.\u2019<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u2018That\u2019s cuz that\u2019s what I WANT you to see.\u2019<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u2018I\u2019m not afraid of you.\u2019<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u2018Many have made that mistake. Few live to make it a second time.\u2019<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u2018Nene, you made me hold your hand on the way to the washroom because \u201cthe hallway was dark\u201d.\u2019<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u2018Well, it was!\u2019<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u2018And then you made me stand outside the door.\u2019<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u2018I like to chat while I go.\u2019<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u2018The upshot of what I\u2019m saying is that you are not scary.\u2019<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u2018Death might ride a pale horse, but I ride a poorly drawn cartoon car. If that\u2019s not scary, then I don\u2019t know what is.\u2019<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u2018You\u2019re right. You don\u2019t. Now, are you gonna let me play a card or\u2026?\u2019<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u2018Kukuku.\u2019<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u2018Nene. No.\u2019<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u2018Nene! YES!\u2019<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u2018Please.\u2019<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u2018WA GA NA WA NENE!\u2019<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u2018PLEASE.\u2019<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u2018SUZERAIN OF THE SEVEN SEALS!\u2019<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u2018STOP!\u2019<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u2018WIELDER OF THE GOLDEN GLOBULES, KIN AND TAMA!\u2019<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u2018STOP!\u2019<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u2018THE ENERGY DRINK OF HEARTS EVERYWHERE!\u2019<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u2018STO\u2014Oh, forget it.\u2019<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u2018ARRGH! THE DARK POWER! IT FLOWS THROUGH ME! WAMY! RUN! I CAN\u2019T\u2026 CONTAIN IT!\u2019<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u2018Fine. But I\u2019m taking my cards with me.\u2019<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u2018NO! THERE\u2019S NO TIME! LEAVE THEM!\u2019<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u2018What, so you can look at them before you \u201cexplode\u201d?\u2019<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u2018I PROMISE I\u2014HRRGH!\u2014WON\u2019T LOOK\u2014EUEGH!\u2014AT YOUR\u2014OOF!\u2014CARDS!\u2019<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u2018Nene, you know I don\u2019t believe a word of what you\u2019re saying. Right?\u2019<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u2018You don\u2019t?\u2019<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u2018No!\u2019<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u2018Why not?\u2019<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u2018Because you\u2019re being ridiculous.\u2019<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u2018I see.\u2019<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u2018Have we settled down now?\u2019<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u2018Yes, Wamy. We have settled down.\u2019<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u2018Good. Okay. I\u2019m gonna play\u2026 Red four. Your tur\u2014\u2019<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u2018BAKAME! I NEVER SETTLE! WHO DO YOU THINK I AM? I am HER. I have always BEEN HER. I will continue to BE HER. I don\u2019t have TIME to brush my teeth in the morning. \u2018Halitosis\u2019 is just a fancy name for \u2018success\u2019. I own a hundred different insects but, trust me, the buzz is not a bug, it\u2019s a feature. The hype is REAL. And it\u2019s not just ONE PIECE. It\u2019s ALL OF ME. My bankai BONKS! My honkai is off the RAILS! And I don\u2019t need to play gacha to pull a winner. I AM the prize. A five star get? Nah. I\u2019m the whole dang night sky. Hope you brought your space suit. Cause I\u2019m about to show you why they call me \u201cGalaxy Baby\u201d. Goo-goo get ready to have your diaper changed. Cause here comes my last card! BAM!\u2019<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u2018Nene, you didn\u2019t\u2026\u2019<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u2018Take THAT! Green four! Oh, man. What an absolute BLUNDER on your part, playing that red four last round. Tsk-tsk. I can\u2019t even imagine how silly you must feel right now.\u2019<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u2018Nene?\u2019<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u2018Yes, Wamy?\u2019<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u2018You forgot to say \u201cUNO\u201d.\u2019<\/p>\n\n\n
[kofi]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
Somewhere, a half-elf and a young woman with pinkish-blonde hair are playing UNO. \u2018You\u2019ll never guess what I\u2019m holding, Wamy. I\u2019ll give you a hint: it\u2019s seventeen draw-four cards.\u2019 \u2018You\u2019re only holding one card. I can see it.\u2019 \u2018That\u2019s cuz that\u2019s what I WANT you to see.\u2019 \u2018I\u2019m not afraid of you.\u2019 \u2018Many have made […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_wp_convertkit_post_meta":{"form":"0","landing_page":"","tag":"0","restrict_content":"0"},"footnotes":""},"categories":[6],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-209","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-fanfiction"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/leifmaplesson.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/209","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/leifmaplesson.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/leifmaplesson.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/leifmaplesson.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/leifmaplesson.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=209"}],"version-history":[{"count":2,"href":"https:\/\/leifmaplesson.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/209\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":267,"href":"https:\/\/leifmaplesson.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/209\/revisions\/267"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/leifmaplesson.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=209"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/leifmaplesson.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=209"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/leifmaplesson.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=209"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}