\u201cOur sales quota is how much!?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Ao re-read the e-mail on her phone. \u201cTwo dozen boxes.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Kanade frowned. \u201cAnd how many have we sold?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cWe\u2019ve sold a grand total of\u2026\u201d Ao tapped wildly on her calculator app and nodded as if everything added up. \u201cZero.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cZero. You\u2019re sure?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Ao showed Kanade the phone. A giant zero took up the entire screen. \u201cThe numbers don\u2019t lie.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Kanade squinted. She shook her head and said, \u201cDamn. That explains why we have as many Candy Engagement Rings as when we started.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cThank God for math.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cAo!\u201d shrieked Kanade.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cWhat!?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cWe gotta move these rings or we\u2019re gonna get fired!\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cRight. Right.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cWe need a plan.\u201d Kanade furrowed her brow and rested her chin on her fist.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Ao mimicked her. \u201cOh!\u201d she said, snapping her fingers. \u201cI have an idea!\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cNice! Let\u2019s hear it.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cWe should sell some of these Candy Engagement Rings.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cAo\u2026\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Something about the way Kanade was looking at her made Ao inch away. \u201cNo good?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cGood?\u201d said Kanade. She walked up to Ao and stared up her nostrils. Just when Ao was wondering who\u2019d pay for her funeral, Kanade\u2019s face broke into a warm smile, and she grabbed Ao\u2019s hands and jumped up and down. \u201cIt\u2019s great!\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Ao wilted as if a vast quantity of adrenaline had just left her bloodstream. \u201cI\u2019m glad you liked it,\u201d she wheezed.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cLet\u2019s try that house right there!\u201d chirped Kanade, pointing to a purple house across the street. She skipped across the road without looking and mashed the doorbell. Ao lurched after her. Just as she reached the doormat, which read \u2018Banchou\u2019, a girl with purple eyes opened the door.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cHi!\u201d twittered Kanade.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cYo,\u201d drawled the girl.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cDo you speak English?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cBob\u2019s yer uncle.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cUh, okay. He\u2019s not, but, um\u2026\u201d Kanade looked at Ao, then back at the girl. \u201cAre your parents home by any chance?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cFolks\u2019r shootin\u2019 th\u2019 breeze down at th\u2019 waterin\u2019 hole if that\u2019s what yer fishin\u2019 fer.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cI\u2019ll take that as a \u2018no\u2019.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cSuit yerself.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Kanade\u2019s face darkened. \u201cWhat\u2019s that supposed to mean?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cNot th\u2019 sharpest bulb in the box, are ye?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Kanade glared at the girl.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Ao bent down and whispered in her ear, \u201cI think she\u2019s saying you’re stupid.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cWow. Ye must be th\u2019 brains of th\u2019 operation,\u201d said the girl, deadpan, looking at Ao. \u201cAnd th\u2019 looks, too.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cOh, stop!\u201d tittered Ao. She whispered into Kanade\u2019s ear again. \u201cDid you hear what she said? She said I\u2019m the brai\u2014\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Kanade slapped Ao across the face and grabbed her arm. \u201cC\u2019mon, Ao. Let\u2019s take our business elsewhere.\u201d She turned on her heel and dragged Ao along behind her.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Back on the other side of the street, they had a post-battle scrum.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cI think that went well,\u201d said Ao.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cWell?\u201d snapped Kanade. \u201cThat was a disaster!\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cMaybe for you, yeah,\u201d said Ao. \u201cBut my self-esteem\u2014already extremely high\u2014is now through the roof!\u201d She took a deep breath, like she were sniffing a bouquet, and exhaled. \u201cI feel like I could sell venom to a snake.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cThen go sell these stupid things,\u201d said Kanade, kicking at the boxes of Candy Rings. She crossed her arms, puffed her cheeks, and spun away. \u201cI\u2019m done with this crap.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Ao shook her head. \u201cLooks like some of us have some growing up to do.\u201d This remark made the back of Kanade\u2019s head look even angrier, but Ao didn\u2019t care. \u201cDon\u2019t worry, Kanade. I\u2019ll sell these puppies to the first sap that comes strolling along. Just you watch.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Across the road was a young woman with silver hair walking her pet hamster. Ao spotted her and cat-walked over and stopped her. \u201cHey, pretty Mama,\u201d said Ao, licking her finger and running it across her eyebrow. \u201cAre you a katana-user? \u2018Cause, boy, do I have the rings for you! They give you plus 5 to Dex and\u2026\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
The silvered-haired young woman smiled and equipped a great mace the size of a cruise ship\u2019s anchor from her inventory.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Ao looked back across the street, her face pale. \u201cRun,\u201d she mouthed.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Kanade took a tentative step toward her. \u201cAo\u2026!\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cRUN, KANADE! RUN AND DON\u2019T LOOK BACK!\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Kanade turned and ran as fast as she could. The ground shook under her feet, and behind her the air quaked like mortars were shelling the earth.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Kanade ran. She ran and never looked back.<\/p>\n\n\n
[kofi]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
\u201cOur sales quota is how much!?\u201d Ao re-read the e-mail on her phone. \u201cTwo dozen boxes.\u201d Kanade frowned. \u201cAnd how many have we sold?\u201d \u201cWe\u2019ve sold a grand total of\u2026\u201d Ao tapped wildly on her calculator app and nodded as if everything added up. \u201cZero.\u201d \u201cZero. You\u2019re sure?\u201d Ao showed Kanade the phone. A giant […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_wp_convertkit_post_meta":{"form":"-1","landing_page":"","tag":"0","restrict_content":"0"},"footnotes":""},"categories":[6],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-186","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-fanfiction"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/leifmaplesson.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/186","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/leifmaplesson.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/leifmaplesson.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/leifmaplesson.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/leifmaplesson.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=186"}],"version-history":[{"count":2,"href":"https:\/\/leifmaplesson.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/186\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":271,"href":"https:\/\/leifmaplesson.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/186\/revisions\/271"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/leifmaplesson.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=186"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/leifmaplesson.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=186"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/leifmaplesson.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=186"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}