\u2018Oil change? Lady, this beast needs a whole new undercarriage.\u2019<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u2018Under-CARRIAGE? Does it look like I\u2019m late to the Diamond Jubilee or something?\u2019<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u2018It looks like you\u2019re late for death row. \u2018Cuz, boy, you\u2019re dressed to kill.\u2019<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u2018What?\u2019<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u2018All I\u2019m saying is that you can execute me any day.\u2019<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u2018An attempt at humour?\u2019<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u2018No. That was an attempt at your heart.\u2019<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u2018Well, you missed by a country mile. Are you going to change my oil, or do I have to go somewhere else?\u2019<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u2018Oh, I\u2019ll change your oil all right. And then I\u2019ll work on your car.\u2019<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u2018I\u2019m going somewhere else. My lawyer will be in contact with you.\u2019<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u2018Woah, woah. What\u2019s all this \u201clawyer\u201d stuff?\u2019<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u2018It\u2019s what you get when you make unwanted advances toward potentially paying customers.\u2019<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u2018Lady, last I checked, it was not illegal to flirt.\u2019<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u2018Quit calling me \u201cLady\u201d. The name\u2019s \u201cLui\u201d.\u2019<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u2018Okay, Lady Lui. Is there a Misses Lady Lui, by the way?\u2019<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u2018Can I get your name?\u2019<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u2018It\u2019s Ao. Hey, now that we\u2019re on a first-name basis, how \u2018bout you come back to my mom\u2019s house? I make a mean Kraft Dinner. We can watch The Bachelorette together or something.\u2019<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u2018How about you watch me report you to the Better Business Bureau instead?\u2019<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u2018That doesn\u2019t sound very romantic.\u2019<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u2018Justice seldom is.\u2019<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u2018You know what? I think we got off on the wrong foot.\u2019<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u2018I\u2019d say YOU got off on the wrong foot and tripped over a cactus into a pile of rattlesnakes on top of a landmine. I am going to RUIN you.\u2019<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u2018Why? What for? What did I do?\u2019<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u2018As I said, my lawyer will serve you with a full list of your offences. In the meantime, I will be taking my car elsewhere. Good day.\u2019<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u2018What a Karen you are.\u2019<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u2018What?\u2019<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u2018Huh?\u2019<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u2018What did you just call me?\u2019<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u2018I didn\u2019t call you nuthin\u2019.\u2019<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u2018You did. I heard you.\u2019<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u2018Lady, you\u2019re losing it. I didn\u2019t say boo.\u2019<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u2018You called me the K-word.\u2019<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u2018So?\u2019<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u2018Ah-hah! You admit it!\u2019<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u2018Yeah, I admit it, KAREN. Is it wrong refer to people by what they are, KAREN? Would you prefer I kowtow and worship the ground upon which you stand, KAREN? Perhaps I can get my manager while I\u2019m at it! You\u2019d like that, wouldn\u2019t you, KAREN? KAREN, KAREN, KAREN. A KAREN by any other name would smell as sweet. KAREN, O KAREN. Wherefore art thou KARE\u2014OH GOD NOT THE FACE!\u2019<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u2018I\u2019ll call you an ambulance.\u2019<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u2018Much\u2026 appreciated\u2026\u2019<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u2018Pleasure doing business with you.\u2019<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u2018Like\u2026wise\u2026\u2019<\/p>\n\n\n
[kofi]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
\u2018Oil change? Lady, this beast needs a whole new undercarriage.\u2019 \u2018Under-CARRIAGE? Does it look like I\u2019m late to the Diamond Jubilee or something?\u2019 \u2018It looks like you\u2019re late for death row. \u2018Cuz, boy, you\u2019re dressed to kill.\u2019 \u2018What?\u2019 \u2018All I\u2019m saying is that you can execute me any day.\u2019 \u2018An attempt at humour?\u2019 \u2018No. That […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_wp_convertkit_post_meta":{"form":"-1","landing_page":"","tag":"0","restrict_content":"0"},"footnotes":""},"categories":[6],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-170","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-fanfiction"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/leifmaplesson.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/170","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/leifmaplesson.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/leifmaplesson.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/leifmaplesson.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/leifmaplesson.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=170"}],"version-history":[{"count":2,"href":"https:\/\/leifmaplesson.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/170\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":275,"href":"https:\/\/leifmaplesson.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/170\/revisions\/275"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/leifmaplesson.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=170"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/leifmaplesson.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=170"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/leifmaplesson.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=170"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}