\u2018When you said \u201cdate\u201d, this wasn\u2019t what I had in mind.\u2019<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u2018What could be more romantic than smuggling twenty boxes of Mike and Ikes into the movie theater for me?\u2019<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u2018I dunno, a Civil War re-enactment, maybe.\u2019<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u2018Marine, darling, don\u2019t be so sour.\u2019<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u2018I don\u2019t see why you can\u2019t smuggle your own Mike and Ikes into the theater.\u2019<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u2018I already told you: I have a record with these people. One more slip up, and I\u2019m banned for LIFE, Marine. LIFE.\u2019<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u2018What makes you think I won\u2019t be subject to the same scrutiny that you are?\u2019<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u2018Are you kidding? Nobody\u2019s gonna search the bag of some old hag like y\u2014I mean who\u2019s going to suspect some peachy young lady like you who\u2019s in the prime of her life? Nobody will bat an eye. You have far too much to lose and so little to gain by sneaking snacks into the theater.\u2019<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u2018Then why am I doing exactly that?\u2019<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u2018I just told you: I have a record with these people. I can\u2019t risk it.\u2019<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u2018Lui, you know this doesn\u2019t make a lick of sense, right? You know that. Right?\u2019<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u2018I wish you wouldn\u2019t argue so. It\u2019s not like I\u2019m asking for such a big favour.\u2019<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u2018Oh, I\u2019d hardly call this a favour. This is taking a bullet.\u2019<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u2018Only if you get caught.\u2019<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u2018And what if I do?\u2019<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u2018Don\u2019t.\u2019<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u2018Thanks. Do you have any other stellar advice for me, or should I just throw myself to the wolves now?\u2019<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u2018Well, the movie starts in five minutes. I\u2019d hurry up if I were you.\u2019<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u2018You\u2019re despicable. Yes. Hello. Here\u2019s my ticket.\u2019<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u2018Ah, \u201cShiver Me Shin Hair: A Musical\u201d. Excellent choice, Ma\u2019am. That\u2019ll be theater number seven, on the right.\u2019<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u2018Thank you.\u2019<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u2018Woah, woah. Ma\u2019am, we have a strict bag-checking policy here at Oozora Cinema.\u2019<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u2018What? Since when?\u2019<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u2018Since someone\u2019s been eating Mike and Ikes in my theaters and leaving the empty boxes all over the aisles. But don\u2019t worry. So long as you have no Mike and Ikes on you, there\u2019s nothing to worry about.\u2019<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u2018And what if I do?\u2019<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u2018You\u2019ll be prosecuted to the full extent of the law. Why?\u2019<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u2018No reason.\u2019<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u2018Oh, okay. Well, like I said, Ma\u2019am: I\u2019m going to need to check your bag.\u2019<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u2018What\u2019s your name?\u2019<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u2018Subaru. Now, your bag, Ma\u2019am.\u2019<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u2018Are you the owner?\u2019<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u2018Yes. Why?\u2019<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u2018Just curious.\u2019<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u2018Well, you know what curiosity did to the cat.\u2019<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u2018What? What\u2019d curiosity do?\u2019<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u2018I dunno. Helped it live happily ever after or something. Anyway, your bag, please.\u2019<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u2018Oh! I just remembered. This is actually my date\u2019s bag. I\u2019m just holding it for her.\u2019<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u2018Your date? But\u2026 There\u2019s no one else here in the lobby with us.\u2019<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u2018What!? Oh, that son of a\u2014\u2019<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u2018Ma\u2019am, you seem awfully irritated. Maybe it\u2019s best you called it a night. Tell you what, if you tell me which retirement home you belong to, I\u2019ll give them a call and have someone come and pick you up. How\u2019s that sound?\u2019<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u2018Thank you, sonny dear. That\u2019d be wonderful. Oh, by the way, you wouldn\u2019t happen to know where I can get a firearm around here, would you?\u2019<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u2018A firearm? Why?\u2019<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u2018I have a mind to go hawk hunting later.\u2019<\/p>\n\n\n
[kofi]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
\u2018When you said \u201cdate\u201d, this wasn\u2019t what I had in mind.\u2019 \u2018What could be more romantic than smuggling twenty boxes of Mike and Ikes into the movie theater for me?\u2019 \u2018I dunno, a Civil War re-enactment, maybe.\u2019 \u2018Marine, darling, don\u2019t be so sour.\u2019 \u2018I don\u2019t see why you can\u2019t smuggle your own Mike and Ikes […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_wp_convertkit_post_meta":{"form":"-1","landing_page":"","tag":"0","restrict_content":"0"},"footnotes":""},"categories":[6],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-168","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-fanfiction"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/leifmaplesson.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/168","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/leifmaplesson.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/leifmaplesson.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/leifmaplesson.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/leifmaplesson.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=168"}],"version-history":[{"count":2,"href":"https:\/\/leifmaplesson.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/168\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":276,"href":"https:\/\/leifmaplesson.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/168\/revisions\/276"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/leifmaplesson.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=168"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/leifmaplesson.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=168"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/leifmaplesson.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=168"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}