\u2018You have several hairline fractures, a subcutaneous hematoma in the shape of an L on your forehead, and a bad case of halitosis. I recommend bed rest and a breath mint. That\u2019ll be four-hundred-thousand dollars.\u2019<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u2018Four-hundred thousand!? All you did was take my pulse!\u2019<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u2018You\u2019re lucky you have a pulse after that little stunt of yours.\u2019<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u2018I\u2019d hardly call slipping in the shower and banging my head on the soap holder before I could brush my teeth a \u201cstunt\u201d.\u2019<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u2018Call it whatever you want. The cost of treatment remains the same.\u2019<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u2018But, Doc! I can\u2019t afford that.\u2019<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u2018Then I guess you shouldn\u2019t go falling in the shower if you can\u2019t afford it.\u2019<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u2018I\u2019m not paying.\u2019<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u2018Ms. Takane. I have practiced medicine in a video game for several hours. My expertise and pedigree demand due remuneration. You knew this when you came to me for treatment. I will not accept lack of funds as an excuse to sully the time-honoured doctor-patient payment arrangement.\u2019<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u2018Time-honoured? I\u2019m familiar with the Hippocratic Oath and I don\u2019t recall there being any fine print like that.\u2019<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u2018The Hip-hop what?\u2019<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u2018Ririka, are you a real doctor?\u2019<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u2018Of course I am! Can\u2019t you see my shiny white coat and dope periscope?\u2019<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u2018You mean stethoscope?\u2019<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u2018English, please. I don\u2019t speak Greek.\u2019<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u2018You\u2019re a quack! You know less about medicine than an ostrich knows about flight.\u2019<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u2018Yeah, well, you\u2019re a goose!\u2019<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u2018I\u2019m not a goose! I\u2019m a hawk!\u2019<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u2018Hawk on these nuts, you honking hooter.\u2019<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u2018Listen here, you insipid shoe-sniffing marmot. I\u2019ve talked to house plants with more grey matter than you. The only world in which you are a doctor is the world in which \u201cdoctor\u201d means \u201ctoilet brush\u201d. Now, I\u2019m going to get up and leave and I\u2019m not going to pay a dime.\u2019<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u2018And what if I stand in your way?\u2019<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u2018I will go around you or through you.\u2019<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u2018Strong words from someone who just admitted they talk to plants.\u2019<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u2018Plants are good listeners, unlike you.\u2019<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u2018They only listen because they have no mouth. If they did, I imagine they\u2019d tell you to stuff it.\u2019<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u2018Don\u2019t put words in my plants\u2019 mouths!\u2019<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u2018Your plants told me they hate you!\u2019<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u2018No! You\u2019re lying!\u2019<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u2018There are only two things I lie about: My age and being a doctor\u2026 Oops.\u2019<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u2018Ah-HAH! I got the goods on you now, \u201cDoctor\u201d Ririka! Oh, the district attorney is gonna have a field day with this.\u2019<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u2018Wait, Lui. Let\u2019s talk about this.\u2019<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u2018Talk? Are you one of my plants?\u2019<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u2018No.\u2019<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u2018Then there will be no talk of talk between us.\u2019<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u2018Lui, please. I can\u2019t go back to prison. I just got out!\u2019<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u2018Got out? What were you in for?\u2019<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u2018Double parking.\u2019<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u2018I see. Tell you what: if you waive my medical fees, I\u2019ll keep my silence. How\u2019s that sound?\u2019<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u2018It sounds like I have no choice.\u2019<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u2018You\u2019re a quick study. I take back what I said about you. You have slightly more grey matter than my house plants.\u2019<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u2018Thanks.\u2019<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u2018Ta-ta, Doc. Keep yourself out of trouble, will you?\u2019<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u2018I\u2019ll try. And you watch your back, Lui. I think we both know what happens to snitches.\u2019<\/p>\n\n\n
[kofi]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
\u2018You have several hairline fractures, a subcutaneous hematoma in the shape of an L on your forehead, and a bad case of halitosis. I recommend bed rest and a breath mint. That\u2019ll be four-hundred-thousand dollars.\u2019 \u2018Four-hundred thousand!? All you did was take my pulse!\u2019 \u2018You\u2019re lucky you have a pulse after that little stunt of […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_wp_convertkit_post_meta":{"form":"-1","landing_page":"","tag":"0","restrict_content":"0"},"footnotes":""},"categories":[6],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-158","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-fanfiction"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/leifmaplesson.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/158","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/leifmaplesson.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/leifmaplesson.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/leifmaplesson.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/leifmaplesson.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=158"}],"version-history":[{"count":5,"href":"https:\/\/leifmaplesson.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/158\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":278,"href":"https:\/\/leifmaplesson.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/158\/revisions\/278"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/leifmaplesson.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=158"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/leifmaplesson.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=158"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/leifmaplesson.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=158"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}