Two riders, caked in sugar-white dust from the road, smelling of campfire smoke and bad intentions, came galloping into town. From under their oil-slicked wide-brim hats, they eyed the townsfolk as though looking at cattle they had a mind to steal.

‘Reckon we can get you a gorilla-sized cigarillo in one of these sundries shops?’ said the blonde-haired rider.

‘Why’s it gotta be gorilla-sized? Why can’t it be a regular cigarillo?’ said the blue-eyed rider.

‘Quit yer caterwaulin’,’ said Blondie. ‘Yonder comes the sheriff.’

Blue-eyes leaned to one side of her saddle and spat into the dirt. She wiped her mouth with the back of her hand. ‘I ain’t got no truck with the law.’

‘You and me both.’ Blondie spat between the ears of her horse.

An officious lawwoman waddled up to the two riders. She stuck her thumbs in her belt and puffed out her chest so that her badge caught the sun. ‘Girls,’ said the sheriff, tipping her hat. ‘Fine day for riding.’

‘It’ll do,’ said Blondie. She spat.

The sheriff squinted at the two of them. ‘You got papers for them horses?’

‘Might have. Might not,’ said Blue-eyes. She spat. ‘What’s it to you?’

‘It’s a matter of jurisprudence to me, Ma’am,’ said the sheriff. ‘As representative of the law in this here town, I cannot abide horse-thievery. Nor unnecessary expectorating.’

Blondie spat. ‘Expector-what-ing?’

Blue-eyes spat. ‘I expect she expects us to quit spittin’.’

‘What!?’ Blondie spat. ‘Listen, lawwoman. I spray it, not say it. That’s how I am. The world is my spittoon, and if you have a problem with that, well, I reckon our revolvers can hash it out.’

The sheriff squinted even harder. ‘I know who you two are.’

‘Do you now?’ said Blue-eyes.

The sheriff nodded. ‘Kanade the Kid and Kanata the Cigarillo-smoking Gorilla.’

A tumbleweed rolled past. Overhead, a circling hawk let out a lonely cry. But for the three of them, the town had become devoid of life; the townsfolk had bunkered themselves up like ants before a heavy rainfall.

‘So,’ said Kanade the Kid, beaming, ‘you know who we are.’

‘That I do,’ said the sheriff. ‘There’s a bounty on your heads. Enough to buy this whole town ten-times over.’

‘And you think you’ll be the one to claim it?’ said Kanade the Kid. She laughed and slapped her thigh. ‘You? You ain’t nothing. You’re not even famous.’

‘Not yet, I ain’t,’ said the sheriff. ‘But I will be.’ She hovered her hand over the grip of her revolver and slowly took a few steps back. ‘Far and wide will the name Subaru Big-sky be known: the sheriff who brought Kanade the Kid and Kanata the Cigarillo-smoking Gorilla to justice.’

The air thrummed under the dead heat of the sun. The stark light made skulls out of their faces, grinning with grim intent from under the black shade of their wide-brim hats.

‘And another thing,’ said the sheriff.

Kanade snatched her gun from its holster and chucked it at the sheriff. It bounced off her head, butt-first, the ivory resounding like a gunshot as it ricocheted off her skull and clattered harmlessly into the dirt.

‘Ow!’ screamed Subaru, putting a hand over the goose-egg that was already swelling on her forehead. ‘Kanade!? What the hell did you do that for?’

‘I threw my gun at you,’ said Kanade.

‘I know you did! I’m asking WHY?’

Kanade shrugged. ‘It just seemed like the right thing to do.’

‘But it wasn’t in the script!’

‘Ever heard of ad-libbing?’

‘I don’t like the script,’ said Kanata, breaking her sullen silence.

‘Which part?’ asked Kanade.

‘The part where my character is a cigarillo-smoking gorilla.’

‘Ah,’ said Kanade, nodding. ‘You don’t like being typecast. I get it.’

‘What do you mean “typecast”? I’m NOT a gorilla.’

‘Have you looked in the mirror recently?’

Kanata yanked her prop gun from its holster and chucked it at Kanade, who ducked just in time. The gun traveled true as a bullet and caught Subaru in the back of the head as she was performing first aid on herself.

‘Ow!’ she squawked, rubbing the back and front of her head simultaneously. ‘That’s it! See how you like it!’ Subaru pulled her own weapon, which was actually a boomerang — there wasn’t enough budget for three prop guns — and threw it. The boomerang made a tight loop around Kanade and Kanata and came back and knocked Subaru out cold because she was performing first aid on herself and wasn’t paying attention.

‘Wanna get lunch?’ asked Kanata.

‘You’re darn tootin’,’ said Kanade.

The two of them rode off into the sunset.