‘You called, Your Highness?’

‘I called for my knave, not my fool. I should have thought you would have learned the difference by now.’

‘My most humble apologies, Lady Ririka. It’s just that you have referred to me by so many lovely names, I quite forget who I am supposed to be sometimes.’

‘Well, let me remind you, Ao, my trash-gobbling boot-licking bug-fearing friend. You are a fool. But not just any fool: you are MY fool. Now, stop fooling around and fetch me my knave.’

‘Yes, Your Haughtiness. At once.’

‘Pah. With servants like these, no wonder the House of Rainsford has been brought to ruin. That I have lived to see our once venerable House reduced to employing imbeciles is an affront beyond bearing. Where did it all go wrong, I wonder? Hmm. There was that time I told the Dread Pirate Houshou that her face looked like dog vomit on a droughty midsummer’s day. Surely she couldn’t have taken offence at such an innocuous observation. No, my reputational decay must have had a different genesis. Could it have been that time I unleashed the Sinister Sheep of Watameland on the inhabitants of Shubatown? No. There were no survivors that day. Nobody could possibly know that I was responsible.’

‘Responsible for what?’

‘Knave! How dare you enter my presence unannounced!’

‘I didn’t think to make my presence known, as that is not my job.’

‘Do not try me, knave. Where is my fool, by the way? Why has she not come back with you?’

‘She fell down a well.’

‘Is she all right?’

‘Define “all right”.’

‘Is she alive?’

‘Define “alive”.’

‘Answer me straight, knave. I do not pay you to be clever.’

‘Actually, you do.’

‘Then I shall dock your pay unless you speak plainly.’

‘Only if you double my pay will I speak plainly.’

‘Think not to haggle with me, knave. You have no currency in this exchange.’

‘No? It seems to me the fate of the fool commands a hefty price as far as you are concerned. But I suppose your pride is more valuable yet. Poor fool. If only you knew what had become of her.’

‘All right, knave. Have it your way. I will raise your wages as you so unscrupulously demand. Now, tell me, what has become of Ao?’

‘She kissed her reflection in a mirror and turned into a frog. I carried her over to a well, and she hopped right in. She seemed quite happy, last I saw her. Like she finally found her place in the scheme of things.’

‘Why did you tell me she “fell” into the well when the truth is she hopped into it?’

‘I couldn’t very well have you raise my wages if I told the truth, now could I?’

‘Knave, you are a scoundrel and a cheat.’

‘Actually, my name’s Polka and I run a circus.’

‘Unbelievable. Have I plumbed the full depths of your deception or is there more?’

‘There is one more thing you should know.’

‘Yes?’

‘I survived Shubatown.’

‘…I see.’

‘You watch yourself, Lady Ririka. You never know when the circus will come to town.’

‘Well, Ririka, Looks like it’s time for a change. Goodbye, House of Rainsford. Hello, town well full of frogs. I’ll be moving in shortly.’